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"Urgency and novelty" is like a mantra my therapist constantly reminds me about #ADHD. Having my boss ask about something adds urgency ("oh crap, I need to prove to him I'm actually doing work"), but...
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I'm really bad about adding novelty to stuff. It's something that makes me wonder if I'm more #AuDHD than strictly #ADHD. I rarely ever actually seek out novelty. If anything, I avoid it. And I wonder...
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mh~Me: We're really having a tough time focusing today.Brain: That's because you're a worthless piece of shit who will never amount to anything.Me: Wow... someone's got an attitude
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I really like how for a completely unfathomable reason the Google Photos app has no possible way to mirror flip an image. You know, one of the most basic and trivial photo editing tools possible.
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mh-I hate when I feel like this.It's as if every nerve cell in my body is trying to escape my body. My prefrontal cortex feels as if it would shrink, compress and collapse into a black hole, if not for...
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mh-Whenever I feel like this I'm convinced there's something systematically wrong with my body. That it's not simply depression or ADHD or some other neurological thing. It's like I'm dying, falling...
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mh-How do you get help for a thing you can't even explain? Something you aren't even sure is a concrete "thing"?What if it's all just ennui? Nihilistic despair? A chronic lack of purpose? What if this...
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mh-I act like it's some Big Special Thing that I'm dealing with when it's probably just depression exacerbated by social isolation, with a little ADHD sprinkled in.It's not some weird, ineffable...
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mh-, trans surgeryWhat the fuck is the point of putting myself through the gauntlet of surgery if I'm just going to feel like this all the time anyway? It's just a different flavor of misery.
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Me, driving to an appointment: Man, it's really noisy in this neighborhood.Cicadas: *screaming*Me: Oh, right
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There's nothing quite like walking past a small forest grove filled with thousands of insects screaming at a volume best described in terms of high power industrial machinery
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I don't think they like it around my area because there's not enough trees. The cicadas didn't wait 17 years underground just to have a sex orgy in the grass like a bunch of common beetles. Gotta have...
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So here's a more "typical" coloration of the same image, along with a cropped full-res section to see more detail. The Elephant's Trunk Nebula (IC 1396) is my project for the summer. I really want to...
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Image details:- 156x120s H-alpha (5.2 hours)- Red Cat 51 (f4.9, 250mm)- ASI294MM- Star Adventurer GTi- Uniguide 32mm + ASI178MM- ASIair+- PixInsight w/ BlurX, StarX- GNU IMP- Bortle 6/7
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I like how I implicitly don't trust any source online unless I know it was written or at least fact checked by a human. Even then, there's no way to know whether they are just repeating without...
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I'd eat dinner, but I'm tired and have no executive function available to make food or even decide what to eat so I'm just gonna lay here and be sad
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Anyone have an explanation for why I always want to work on a complex technical project whenever I'm too tired and don't have the executive function/spoons to actually do it? It's very frustrating.
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The frustration isn't so much from not having the ability to do a thing I want to do, it's from only ever wanting to do a thing at the moment when I'm least able to.What drives me nuts is the little...
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