nihilism, darkness
What's the truth I'm avoiding? What's the contradiction?
That humanity is doomed by it's very nature. That intelligence is a curse, not a blessing. We might be able to outsmart nature (for a while), but we can never outsmart ourselves. The more we accomplish, the more we must accomplish.
Maybe that's the answer to the Fermi Paradox: intelligence is a fundamentally unsustainable and degenerate evolutionary dead-end. Perhaps no intelligent creatures can survive long-term.